SECOND FIRST IMPRESSIONS – FIRST PROPER DAY IN CAMBODIA

I got up at about 9am for breakfast (the first time I'd managed it so far), and met up with everyone else. The Eathwalkers people help to run an orphanage nearby which some of the Norwegian girls were going to, after that they were leaving. Mona was going to stay with us for a few more days yet. She asked if I wanted to come along to the orphanage, and normally I would have done, but I thought I should give her the chance to spend time with her mates, they were all speaking Norwegian the night before, and would occasionally stop, apologise and explain in English for me and Matt. I thought I'd better let them just have a morning together. So they all left and i started my blog. Which you are reading now.

In the afternoon we went to see the temples at Angkor. This was the main reason I wanted to come to Cambodia, they are incredible. we were joined by a Hungarian bloke called Uri, Mona was a little bit creeped out by him, but I thought he was ok, I thought she was being ageist as he was about 50 odd. Anyway we spent a great 4 hours looking round the temples, saw the one that featured in Tomb Raider, and Angkor Wat. Also the parts surrounding the temples are full of Monkeys. And Monks. I was clambering around one of the temples – going possibly where I shouldn't have been - and there was no one around, just me leaping from stone to stone, climbing up steps and squeezing into gaps in the wall to discover a new room. I'd never felt so much like Indiana Jones. Although I don't think Indiana Jones ever wore a bum bag? Yes I know it's called a money belt, but lets face it, it's a bum bag. Unless you're in America in which case it's called a fanny pack. Because over there fanny means your arse, not your............

I managed to lose Matt, Mona and Uri for about 30 minutes, as I explored the bas-reliefs on my own. There was one that I'd read about and really wanted to see – the churning of the sea of milk – and that was the only one that was closed. Typical.

As soon as you step out side the area of the temple you get surrounded by kids selling bracelets, postcards, drinks, magnets etc. They try and separate you from the other people in your group and just crowd round you, which is a bit unnerving at first, but they're harmless street kids trying to earn a living I suppose. There was no dirty tricks apart from the occasional emotional bribery. They picked the wrong person on that front!

We got back to the guest house and met up with some other people staying there; Stevie and Lucy (a couple from Newcastle), Ron (a dutch guy), and Kai (from Germany). We had something to eat and arranged to meet up with them all at the night market for a drink later on.

Now I had been itching for some Karaoke ever since I arrived. I had dragged Mona and the other english lads around bangkok trying to find a place, but with no joy. We asked around in Siem Reap, on the appropriately named 'Pub Street' and were pointed towards a street that had a roof top bar and another club type place and guest house with the magical words written outside 'KARAOKE'. Get in. We walked into the entrance and asked for karaoke, the three uniformed women seemed to understand us and showed down a corridor. To the left was a sort of club and further down the corridor was the reception for the guest house. "Here you are" said the woman, I turned to the right and saw a room with large glass windows and a large glass door. Inside was a small room with about 8 or 9 rows of steps. on these steps sat 10 -15 young girls in various uniforms. It was at that point I realised that the Cambodian idea of Karaoke was very different to the one i had experienced on Brighton Pier. Lucie and Mona weren't very impressed so we quickly left and went to the roof terrace bar, called the X Bar. It was really nice with free pool and internet access, so we stayed there for the rest of the night before racing tuk tuks home.

stevie and I had bought a small bottle of whiskey with a dead snake and scorpion inside from the night market. Turns out the whiskey was disgusting, but we had fun posing with the dead creatures. a bit too much fun it turns out, we were a little bit too noisy when we got back and managed to wake up some of the other guests at 4am, we also got the guy out of bed to serve us drinks, which made me feel really bad. But wrestling with a dead snake cheered me up no end.

THE DAY THE DREAM ALMOST DIED PT 2 – MAKING OUR WAY ON THE WORST ROAD ON EARTH!

So we'd made it across the border. We were in Poipet. Tthis town was something else! Now normally I'd be in my element in a town full of casinos (the rich thais come over to gamble and then go back), but his was an absolute eye sore, I've not head a single person or website say something positive about this place, it rhymes with 'Toilet' for a reason. I think i'm quite qualified to make an informed decision about how bad this place is, I mean I lived in Luton for 3 years, and I've been to Hull.

We hopped on board the free shuttle bus to the transportation centre (for Transportation centre see 'taxi rank'). Again this is a bit of a scam run by the mafia in Cambodia, I'd read up a bit about it, there were 2 ways of getting to Siem Reap from Poipet; you can get the bus for $10 which takes about 6 hours on a good day, or you can get a taxi which should cost you no more than $45, and this takes about 3 hours. As there were 3 of us we decided to get the taxi, as it was only an extra $5 and took half the time. The waiting time for a bus was supposed to be about 30 mins, but they wait until they've got enough people to fill it and then pull up outside, so we could have been waiting for hours, and I'd had enough of today.

We got to where the taxis were and saw a Japanese couple arguing with the cab drivers, I asked how much to Siem Reap and the guy said $60. Now i know that it was supposed to cost between $30 - $45, The japaese couple had been quoted $60 as well and I said to them that as long as they're all in agreement, they're not going to drop the cost, so we should just all walk away. Now walking away I have found is possibly the best bartering tool there is, about 3 steps into it, they all relented and agreed with $45. Everything was a struggle.

The cab journey was rough. The road from Poipet to Siem Reap is quite famous, it's just one straight road, with pot holes the size of which i had never seen before, most of the time we were on the wrong side of the road, and then the thunderstorm happened. Visibility was practically zero, and the driver did incredibly well not to drive us into another car or into a ditch or pot hole. The road was so bumpy that I thought the car was going to fall apart. Now i found out the reason why this road, which is one of the most important roads for bringing in tourists and trade is in this condition. Apparently Bangkok Airways pay a commission to the Cambodian government to not repair the road because they have the monopoly on the airfare from Bangkok to Siem Reap.

We arrived in Siem Reap (the thunderstorm had finished) and the driver took us to where the tuk tuk drivers were. The driver said that if we told the tuk tuks where to go they would take us there for free. Yeah. Right. We made idle chit chat with the tuk tuk guy, about how long we were staying and what we were planning on doing, and then he pulled in at the guest house we were staying at, helped us with our bags and said goodbye. With no money. I was stunned.

We stayed at a place called the Earthwalkers, it was run by a couple of Norwegians who had moved there a couple of years ago. some of Mona's friends were staying there. The Norwegian girl who ran the place was really helpful, and very sympathetic when she heard about our overland crossing, she said it's the worst boarder crossing in SE Asia, and gives you a really bad impression of the Cambodians.

we got changed and jumped in the pool. We had made it, for a while there I was ready to give up and go back to Bangkok I was that frustrated. That evening I was half dead. Mona met up with her friends and we just all stayed in the guest house bar, I didn't feel like drinking, and people were talking about where they wanted to travel to next. I was looking at the map, but all I could think about was not going anywhere. At this point I was seriously doubting whether or not this traveling lark was for me. I know not everyone gets it, and maybe I was one of those people. I was seriously thinking about just spending about a week here and then flying to Singapore and waiting for my flight to Australia. As I'm writing this retrospectively, I can be a bit more objective about the experience, and I'm really glad that I did that crossing, I think in a way it completely opened my eyes as to what to expect and how to deal with it. I would do it again as I now know what to do, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, unless you read up a bit about it before.

The Norwegian girls played about in the pool. I sat by the side with a beer, drained. All I really needed was a couple of days in the one place, and as it turns out, this place was great!

The Day the Dream Almost Died - Pt 1 (Getting out of Thailand) (Warning: This blog contains quite a heavy amount of rambling)

Wiping the sleep from my eyes, after about 3 hours of un-interupted sleep I got up showered and packed up my things. The three of us checked out of our hotel at about 5am and left for the station. There's a scam in Bangkok where the taxi drivers will try and agree a price for the journey before you set off. However if they put it on the meter it would cost a fraction of the price you'd agreed. I haggled with one taxi driver and he came down to 150 bt, but was still refusing to put on the meter. So we left him and walked to the other end of the road. “where you going to mate”, said one, “the train station” I said, “can you put it on the meter?” He looked a bit put out and said “I haven't got a meter”, luckily for him just as i started to walk away he suddenly remembered that he actually did have a meter! “That was lucky” I said to him. Today was going to be a day for patience.

Got to the station ok, it only cost us 47bt, the tickets for the train cost 48 bt each (about 70p), which for a 7 hour train journey isn't bad, Virgin could learn a lot from these lads. The journey was pretty much uneventful, sleep was mixed with a bit of window gazing at half completed buildings and stations. Arriving at the border town in Thailland was were i thought things would get tricky. Thanks to Mona I'd read and printed out info about crossing the border from www.talesofasia.com, an invaluable website for this part of the world. Anyway the website said we should pay no more than 80 bt for a tuk tuk to take us to the border, as we pulled into the station, the driver's eyes lit up to see 3 western faces, and they were all running along side the train trying to get to us. The first tuk tuk driver quoted us 80 bt, the correct price. Hmmmmmm, something wasn't quite right here. I was relieved to here another English guy who was bartering saying about how he had done this hundreds of times before and knew the system, if we stuck close to him then I think we would be ok. The tuk tuk driver drove us straight to the Cambodian Consulate building. I'd heard of a scam where people try and get you to pay to get out of Thailand, so I wasn't sure about this unscheduled stop. The English guy who had been at the station pulled up in his tuk tuk, we had a quick chat and both decided it was a scam. The driver assured us that we would need a stamp to get out of the country and if we didn't we would be turned away at the border. In a polite way i told him to get knotted and we left.

He then took us to a car park where there was a small marquee erected, where we were supposed to fill in forms. I hadn't read anything about this and was quite unsure. I said to the ever so helpful attendant that I needed to go to the bank to get some money as I didn't have any. He took us into the dirty market town to get some travelers cheques exchanged. So i tried to level with him what the score was. he said that we needed to fill out a form, and then he would take us back to the consulate office to get a stamp. He assured me that there would be no charge for it, and showed me his poorly laminated pass to show that he was officially working for the Thai government. I'm sure i'd seen those passes on sale in Khao San road.

So anyway the three of us went back to his little tent, filled in some forms and stapled a photo to them. The forms were poorly photocopied documents with some of the text missing at the bottom, but he assured me that we wouldn't have to pay for any of this and that if we liked his service we could tip him 30 or 40 bt, fair enough I thought as he'd shown me where the bank was. I took Matt and Mona's passports and completed forms and jumped on the back of his motorbike to go to the consulate, again. On the way there he was on the phone to someone, alarm bells started to ring. As soon as money was mentioned I was ditching this joker. So anyway we pulled up at the consulate's office, luckily there was a guy out side waiting to meet us. He asked to see the passports, then the paper work. I'd not seen this guy's ID and we hadn't actually stepped foot inside the office at this point, then he said that I would have to pay 1,000 bt per passport. The Thieving Bastards. I went a little bit mental at the guy and grabbed back the passports, he tried to argue that he'd told me that we would have to pay, and that I was messing him around. The cheeky little swine, i told him to get lost and take me back to the other two, which after about 5 minutes of heated verbal confrontation, he did. We got back and i explained to the other what had happened, the guy then starts telling me that we'll get turned back at the cambodian side, I told him fine, if that happens then we'll just come back but I'm not giving you 1,000 bt on your say so.

We stormed off to try and get a bit of peace from the touts, went back to the bank and asked one of the guys who worked there if he knew the score about crossing the border. He looked no plussed and got out his mobile to phone one of his mates. “Forget it”, I said and walked off. At that point i'd never felt so helpless and with no one else to turn to. Apparently the chief of Police in Poipet (the Cambodian border town) takes a percentage of every tourist caught in this scam. I'd had enough of these charlatans so we headed straight for the Thai immigration. Then the guy who had tried to con us the first time appears behind us on his bike saying: “Ok, my friend, if you want Visa then we do it at my office”, I told him to f-off and that he'd had his chance.

We got to the Thai immigration side, and had no problem getting out of the country. We were then walking inbetween the no man's land between Thailand and Cambodia, which called also be called “Beggar's Canyon” if i was in a Star Wars kind of mood, which I wasn't. I was hot, burnt and annoyed. and it was only just past mid-day.

A 'helpful' taxi driver ushered us to the visa services. A friendly looking Cambodian met us to say that we needed to pay 1,000 bt for the visas along with the $25 that it was supposed to cost. I'd told him that his mate had already tried that one on us and we hadn't fallen for it. He said “Oh yes, you've been to the consulate twice today”, they are all on the phones to each other constantly. “just give me the visa mate, I'm only going to pay the $25 like it says”. he went away and caled back, “ok my friend $25!”. Too bloody right. as we were filling out the forms, he asked me where me and Matt were from, I said England, and he launched into his cockney accent “Awlright mate? eazy jeezer, lovely jubbly, you like Del Boy?”. “No.” I sternly said. I had no time for these 'fools and horses'.

Deciding where to go next...

Met up with Mona, Tom and Will for breakfast. Tom and Will were leaving today so we said our goodbyes and went to go and wake up Matt. he was slightly bleary eyed and had little to no recollection of the previous night, just as well really.

the three of us spent a few hours by the pool, I didn't get in and managed to cover up. I'd been quite good upto now with sunscreen and keeping covered, mainly I was covered by my bed sheets so i don't suppose that really counts. Matt dived in, still a bit drunk and sat there for a few hours. he burnt his head and shoulders quite badly, which is ironic as with his bald head he has no need for shampoo. Mona met some Norwegian girls by the pool and spoke to them for about an hour, they'd just come back from Vietnam so were giving us tips about visas. the main tip being is if you had blonde hair blue eyes and were absolutely stunning then you'd have no problem. Brilliant. I'm sorted then. Apart from the blonde hair. Oh, and the blue eyes. So apart from those things i'd be alright. shut it.

I think i spent too long in the sun myself, or it may have been the malaria tablets, but i wasn't feeling too well so i went for a lie down, Matt and Mona went for something to eat.

We had decided to leave for Cambodia the next morning on the 0555 train, so an early night was in order, this was also my first day without a beer, and i enjoyed that quite a bit. We had something to eat and then killed some time sending emails before bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long old day.....

Matt's First night

MATT'S FIRST NIGHT

Had breakfast, at lunch time naturally, with Mona, feeling a little bit rough. I think we arranged to meet up with Will and Tom later tonight, well that's what Mona reckons, I can't remember. Matt was due to get into the airport at about 3.30pm, so i thought he might be at the hotel at about 5. So by 3 me and Mona were in the pool. for about 2 hours. Then i got bored. I think i was pretty much over my jet lag at this stage, which is handy when you've got a bald headed builder from east London about to descend on you.

Matt arrived at about 6ish, he sent me a text and then i gave him a call. i think i was on the phone for about 5 or 6 seconds, and it cost me about £1.50, grumble grumble grumble......

The 3 of us went for a thai curry at a bar we were at the night before, Will and Tom didn't turn up as arranged (to be honest we were so drunk from the night before I doubt if they remembered). We went for a bit of a walk down the Khao San road, found the two English lads and went for a tower. the night went downhill from there really. went to a bar called Gullivers at one point, there were pictures of English football teams over the wall, i found the liverpool one and posed for a photo. At that point i was assaulted (there's no other word for it) by a random thai girl, at least i presume she was a girl. She grabbed me and kissed me, fine i thought, what wasn't fine is the lunge she made for my gentleman parts when i started to walk away. Normally i have to at least buy them a drink before that happens.

ended up in a bar watching the Turkey Czech republic game, which was a little bit nuts. We decided at this point that we probably wouldn't make the full moon party this month, which was a shame, but we would have been rushing to get down there and it would have been a struggle to get accommodation, so we left it. Mona was due to leave for Cambodia the next day at about 5am, but as it was about 2am when we were in the bar, we managed to convince her it wasn't such a good idea. Instead the three of us would sit down tomorrow and hammer out a plan, and would probably travel to Cambodia together the day after. I really enjoyed my time in Bangkok but i think it was time to move on.

I think Matt enjoyed his first night in bangkok, i left him at about 4am, he left about 4,000bt lighter, no one knows how or why, but speaking to Tom the next day he said he saw him at about 6 or 7am having an argument with a tuk tuk driver. Maybe he was refusing to go south of the river, you can take the boy out of London...

the morning after the first night, and 'cultural' events in Bangkok

THE MORNING AFTER

Awoke to a small Thai woman opening my door to ask me if i wanted to stay another night. At the time i wasn't sure where I was, but i managed to say yes, throw on some clothes and promptly lock myself out of the room. Checked myself in for another night, went up to the pool to find Natalie. She had about 2 hours to kill before leaving for the airport. I was a bit of a state, and considering she'd had about as much to drink as me she was surprisingly fresh faced and awake. Must have been the jet lag. I dunked my head in the pool and felt no better. Said my goodbyes to Natalie, but we arranged to meet up at the full moon party in a few days. Spoke to a young lad called Toby. He was trying to meet his friends but they'd not told him where they were staying, he'd also had to wait 7 hours inside Deli airport because they'd cancelled his flight! poor lad.

I went back to bed with a sense that I'd arranged to meet up with Carlie and Jamie at 3pm. I woke at 3.01 and pegged it downstairs, they were waiting for me, so i said i'd be 10 minutes while i sorted myself out. still feeling a little weary we made our way out on to khao san road. We minced about for a couple of hours and then got a taxi to the Lumpini stadium for the Muaythai boxing. a quick negotiation got the price down 400 bt, still too much but it was a big fight night and i'm not going to get the chance to go again so i thought it was worth it. I didn't like the idea of 5 hours watching two little fellas kicking each other, so we went to the night market next door for a drink and something to eat. Carlie went off shopping and left Jamie and me drinking a tower. will she never learn? The food part of the market was huge, with a stage and a band playing various thai songs with dancers. This was complimented by the giant screen behind them showing Juve vs Roma, Liverpool's goals of the season, and then the full 90 mins of Liverpool vs Boro. I'd seen it anyway so we left after the first 10 minutes.

The boxing was fairly brutal, and the thais were going crazy for it. the main fight was a bit cagey and therefore not very exciting, but the last fight was between 2 14 year olds, an elbow to the top of the head dispatched one of them in the first round and he had to be karted out in a wheel chair. I've heard of Muaythai places offering free buckets to westerners who want to join in for 3 rounds. not. a. chance.

The three of us went for another tower and jamie struck a deal with carlie that if he agreed to spend the next day shopping with her then we can all go to a 'show' tonight. Now apparently Jamie and Carlie had been to one of these shows before and didn't really enjoy it, i guess he was just keen to have me in the club. The details of that night shall remain guarded, lets just say there were some people in the audience who enjoyed it a bit too much while most people (myself included) just tried not to look too embarrassed and politely clapped at the appropriate times. Never again.

We managed to aquire another Canadian during the performance, a lad called David, we went back to the khao san road for more beers, I arranged to go to the tiger sanctuary with david the next day. It's a place outside of Bangkok where the monks look after orphaned tigers, they're so used to being around humans you can pet them and lie on their backs. Before they eat you.

The leaving of London and the city of olive plums.

Hello to you all.

after what seemed like 87 leaving do's, I finally managed to tear myself from London's cheery, welcoming, and homely atmosphere. A rousing rendition of You'll Never Walk Alone was attempted by Ash, Will and Vinny, (which ended up in them just speaking the words) at Hammersmith tube station, and after going through the barriers I turned to give the a final Ring of Fire and I was gone down the steps, i was out on my own.

Heathrow was ok, the same as ever. Got there in plenty of time to browse the Dixons and duty free shops. Made my last couple of phone calls to people before getting on the plane. I got one of those emergency exits seats so there was no seat in front of me, which was a result i thought. But then the universe took back what it had given me in leg room, by way of a screaming 2 year old behind. Magic. The inflight service with BA is pretty good now (notice how i didn't make the joke of flying with BA - having to drug his milk etc), and they've got loads of films on demand. So i watched Cloverfield, and episodes of The Simpsons, Arrested Development and Family Guy. The Champions League highlights package wasn't available. Just as well I thought, we all know who would have been featuring. Just as I drifted off to sleep the child started screaming. Oh well, only another 9 hours to go.......

TOUCH DOWN IN BANGKOK

Flying in to bangkok I realised that I was quite a long way from home, and i think this was the first time I'd ever been away where I didn't know where i was going and had no one to meet me at the other end. But then again thousands of people do this every year, so it couldn't be that difficult.

I got a taxi from the airport to the guest house i was staying at, the D&D on Khao San Road. I paid more for it than i should have, but i was just happy to be on my way. it was a 45 minute taxi ride, so in UK terms it should have cost be about £80 so I was not too bother about shelling out about £15. I'll live an learn.

Had a brief chat with my driver on the way, until he stopped to ppick up one of his mates. He told me it was rainy season. "oh, really how often does it rain?", i said, "oh very bad, every day, sometimes for 10 minutes", he said. I could live with that.

Khao San road is an assault on the senses. it's about 200 metres long and full of shops, bars, food stands and taxis and tuk tuks. All you can see down the road are neon signs. Luckily the neon sign for the D&D was the biggest one there so it was easy to find. my room was not the swanky pad i had expected and the bed was harder than Joe Calzaghe. the ensuite they advertised consisted of a sink toilet and shower head. Probably wise to keep the toilet paper out in the main room. WHERE'S THE TOILET PAPER?!! Gripped with fear when i saw from the side of the toilet a small hose pipe with a gun type attachment on the end. Dear god, where on earth was i, France?? Luckily they were used to western tourists in this part of town and had put one roll next to my bed. panic over. party on.

FIRST NIGHT IN BANGKOK

After getting myself settled and viewing the pool and what was on TV (they were showing Lock Stock on one channel, and i found myself sitting down and watching it until i realised how ridiculous that was and left the room). I headed for an internet cafe, luckily on khao san you can't swing a tuk tuk driver for hitting one (line stolen from the Lonely Planet). so I checked my emails and got in contact with a girl i had met through this travel networking site, she said she and a few other people were going out for dinner on a river boat and would i like to come along. We met at 7, there was Natalie (the girl off the internet), Carlie and Jamie (who Natalie had met the night before), and Sarah (who Natalie knew from somewhere). They were all Canadians, and on Holiday, although Sarah is working for the UN in Bangkok. Sadly she doesn't get to wear a blue beret or have a gun. I checked.

The 5 of us crammed into a 3 seater tuk tuk and sped off to the river. They take those corners quite sharply i thought as threatened to go onto 2 wheels. Once on the boat we were seated and ordered. I tried to order the striped snake head, but was pressurised to have the sea bass instead, which was quite pricey at 260 baht (about £4.30). I was the last to get served. but it did come with a hot plate, which on top of the boat lasted about 20 minutes, not before the flames made it almost impossible to get to my food with my arm hairs in tact. There was a DJ on the boat telling us in Thai and English what the temples and bridges were that we went past, the only problem being that once the thai explanation had finished and the english one started we'd already pasted what he was talking about. Still it was a really nice way to spend my first evening, and the thai men on board were great dancers! Or at least the Canadians thought so!

We got a taxi back to Khao San road and headed to the bars, Sarah had to work the next day so she left first, then Carlie had had enough and wanted to go home, but i could see Jamie fancied a bit of a night out, so we walked her back to her hotel and i promised her that I'd look after him, and i honestly had every intention of doing so. natalie was flying out to Koh Samui the next day so she didn't want a late one. we must have gone to about 3 or 4 bars, had god knows what to drink (i remember i had a bucket - coke, red bull and a bottle of whiskey, served in, you've guessed it, a bucket) That pretty much wiped me out. Luckily Carlie couldn't sleep and came back to claim Jamie, which was great timing as she got there just in time for me teaching Jamie about the Ring of Fire chant. The manager of the place was not as impressed as everyone else round the table. apparently I walked Natalie back to the hotel at about 4.30, then went back for more drinks. I think i got home at about 5ish. All in all a great introduction to Bangkok i think.